Comparison is the Thief of Joy

I decided to go with two blog posts in one day because I do what I want. So here we go! Why do we torture ourselves by comparing ourselves to others? Why do we tend to listen to what society says we must do? In other words, have that perfect job, find the perfect spouse, have 2.5 perfect kids, have a set amount of money by a certain age. Sounds fantastic but whose rules are those? And why oh why are we judged so harshly if we don’t have all those boxes checked by a certain age or timeline? Who are we to judge anyone’s life?

I mean, don’t get me wrong, we absolutely judge others. I do it but I can catch myself and reel my ego back in. I am in no place to judge others lives. My life has been anything but easy and I’ll be honest, that is alllll my fault. I chose the things I did; I chose the words I spoke and the law of cause and effect has me right where I am today at the age of 49.

Belle Motley wrote a fantastic book called Manifestation through the 12 Laws of the Universe, I highly recommend giving it a whirl if you want to go deeper into these laws, including the law of cause and effect. Basically, the actions you take now are creating a future effect on your life. Read that again and then read it one more time. I look back on my life in my 20s, 30s and most of my 40s and realize I created this very moment in my life. With my thoughts, my actions, my words etc. I can honestly say I wasn’t a great person. I was lost, angry, angry and angry. I had my moments of kindness, but I was a spoiled child trapped in an adult body. Not understanding who I was or why I had the feelings I did. So, I hid them, I buried them deep within and convinced myself there was nothing wrong with me. I’m just fine. I created a life of mediocrity because I never truly believed in myself to do anything that was extraordinary. Yes, this came from my childhood. I won’t dive deep into it but let’s just say we never were pushed to do anything other than settle for the bare minimum. Work that boring 9-5 job, get married, have kids, blah, blah, blah. College? But why? I find myself getting unsettled thinking about those conversations with my mom which means I have a whole lot more healing and understanding to do around that. Yay, therapy! I won’t blame my situation on my upbringing any longer. I know the core wound is there and it is my responsibility to heal and mend it.

So here I sit, writing this blog with big dreams of becoming a successful writer and podcaster – more on that later. And I sit here having lost a lot and finding myself starting over from the bottom of the bottom, at age 49. And I struggle with that and comparing myself to others and I replay the hurtful words of some who have cut me deep with those words. But if I sit here and feel sorry for myself and not make a move, then guess what? I am creating a future of lack because I’m too scared to act. Comparison is the thief of joy. It is something I struggle with and I’m OK to admit it, but am not OK to sit and do what I was expected to do growing up…..settle. I’ve done that for too long because I didn’t believe in who I was or what I was capable of. So, I leave you with this and I’ve said it before, it’s ok to not be ok, it’s ok to not have it all figured out and it’s ok to not fit in with societal norms, whatever the fuck those are. No matter what age you are or how much your bank account is holding for you, you can do whatever you want. Dream big, your mind is powerful. Put those positive thoughts into action. When you become aligned with what you want to become, magic happens. And for those who judge you because you aren’t where they are or didn’t take their path, fuck them. This is your life, go live it big!

I’m stepping out of fear and choosing to walk into courage, and I hope you do too if you’re struggling. I’m building a community of like-minded humans, and I would love your comments and feedback.