It’s been a been awhile since I wrote something for this blog, and I knew that I would have some doubts about doing this whole thing. It’s not an issue of not knowing what to write about. I have plenty of information and stories in my head to probably write a short book, maybe I will. It’s the thoughts in my head that pop up trying to pull me back down and unfortunately, I sometimes give in to them. We are not our thoughts, they are fleeting. They come and go like a wrecking ball and if you’re not in a good mindset, they can destroy the dreams and momentum you have built up. So how does one let go of those thoughts and move the fuck on?
Our thoughts are so powerful. It’s easy to say that but until you truly understand that statement, you can never move on from what’s holding you back. I’ve been the girl with the negative thoughts for as long as I can remember. I’m not afraid to admit that because I am able to recognize the why behind it all. I am proud to say they don’t come as often anymore and to hear those close to me say things like, “You have come so far in your journey, you’re not the same person you were a few years ago.” And “I’m proud of you buddy, keep going.” And I do, I keep going because I must. I have learned to battle those thoughts when they come in. I allow myself to recognize them, but I won’t let them stay and sure as shit doesn’t allow myself to believe them. I know that this will always be a battle for me. Like an addiction. That’s scary to think that negative thoughts become a part of who you are, and you must actively work to combat those thoughts. When you’ve been conditioned to think like that due to not getting the love you needed as a child, the emotional safety from those who were there to raise, protect and support you, it’s a hard habit to break. But the good news is that you can give that inner person (child, teenager etc.) the love and emotional support they didn’t get. You can choose to stop those thoughts and say “Hey, I got you, I’m here, you are safe, and I love you.” I do this every single day. At the end of the day, we are all we got. You can’t depend on anyone to make you feel truly loved and safe until you know how to do it yourself.
That’s how you start to move on. Moving on from what has been your comfort blanket for so long is the hardest thing one will do but it will also be the most rewarding because you deserve it and it’s better than being stuck in a cycle that is going nowhere. It has been and still is hard for me to want to move on. To pick up the pieces that are buried in different places and put them back together. To pick the path that I am meant to be on, the one that scares me, makes me doubt everything and want to circle back to that other path that only leads to dead end after dead end. Writing this blog, no matter what happens, has helped me get off my dead-end path and onto the path I am meant to be on. I must keep going even when those thoughts tell me otherwise. And so should you, don’t ever give up on your dreams, or your purpose, and if you don’t know what that is, keep digging. Feel where your heart and intuition pull you to. Someone out there needs you!
I’m stepping out of fear and choosing to walk into courage, and I hope you do too if you’re struggling. I’m building a community of like-minded humans, and I would love your comments and feedback.
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